Look–There is Light

Everything you experience is a reflection of what you notice. 

Recognizing this facet of life can offer great ability to shift perspective, refocus, and recognize what lens your mind is looking through. When something threatening or uncomfortable happens, it’s easy to enter tunnel vision. Often, tunnel vision is accompanied by these cognitive distortions: personalization, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, and all or nothing thinking. These perceptions are likely formulated through a means of self protection. They prevail to remain in control and certain or cope ahead, commonly with being wrong, unaccepted, or in danger.

Example: You’re passing a coworker in the hall, a person you usually have a chit chat with in the morning while making coffee. One morning they leave the kitchen after putting their lunch in the fridge without staying to talk. 

You begin to worry you did something wrong to upset them. You remember– it’s because you rushed out to pick up your kid without saying goodbye yesterday. They think you’re ignorant and you proceed to beat yourself up about your time management skills. This spirals into needing to get a new job because the coworkership is awkward and you obviously can’t handle your work plate and be a good parent. 

This is the tunnel. Spiral. Ahhhhh. 

Guess what? Nobody cares!

When you left, that coworker was brainstorming how to get vegetables for their second grader who won’t eat anything green. This morning they were late for a meeting and simply did not have time to talk or explain. 

It might be helpful to know that just as you are focused on your vivid personal world, others probably are too. 

Disclaimer: This is not an excuse to go about your days and behaviors with no consideration for others. But, for my hypervigilant overthinkers (I put myself in this category too) really, you’re expending too much energy on this mere blip of life. 

Some tips to pull you out of tunnel vision: 

• Ask curious questions:

  • “What might they be going through today?” 

  • “Will this matter tomorrow?” 

  • “How much does this moment affect the grand scheme of my life?” 

• Hope note:

  • “I hope they're alright.” 

  • “That was odd, I’ll check on them later.”

• Give grace: 

  • "Sometimes I want to be quiet, maybe others do, too.”

• Self trust: “If I did upset them, I have the skills to communicate my concern and apologize later. I do not have to worry about this now.”

• Affirmation statement: 

  • “I know this pattern. I’ve worried before and it was well.” 

  • “We’re human. We ALL speak a different language. Interactions will be confusing and misunderstood at times.” 

  • “If I’m this concerned, it shows how much I care. I know I’m a good person.”

• Adaptive “What if”:

  • “What if they didn’t think anything of it?” 

  • “What if I spend so much time worrying about this one concern that I miss the next beautiful moment?”

• Look up: Above you is the sun. Notice it. Notice how big the world is. How much there really is to do and think about. Do you want to choose to stay in the tunnel, or go out into the light?

For those of you in the dark today. I hope this helps you lift your gaze out of the tunnel of maladaptive thoughts. Have compassion for yourself that these habits are hard to break, but keep practicing and it will become more natural to NOT GIVE A —. 

Look toward the light. Choose light. Be light. 

References: 

(2025). What Are Cognitive Distortions? And How To Change Distorted Thinking. Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved June 3, 2026, fromhttps://health.clevelandclinic.org/cognitive-distortions